


And We'll Burn Bridges

by Gravitydrop



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Facial Shaving, Hand Jobs, M/M, Mild emotional manipulation, Oral Sex, Peace Walker era, Phantom Pain Era, Pre-Peace Walker Era, Rough Sex, Stitches, Tags to update as the work continues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-11-18 05:23:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11284563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gravitydrop/pseuds/Gravitydrop
Summary: A long, bloodied machete had reached out and tipped his chin slowly upwards, tilting his head to delicately the side as the blade pressed snugly into his jugular. Kaz's own hectic and uncontrolled heartbeat had already begun raging thunder through his ears, pulse beating wildly against the thin metal of the blade, nearly nicking his pale skin with every pulse. He'd swallowed hard, squeezed his eyes shut, let slip a quiet, whimper of a sound amongst the screeching insects and creatures of the forest, bracing himself.(This work has been discontinued).





	1. Chapter 1

Their first time had taken Miller by surprise. Not that the event had been completely unexpected by any means, but the fondness in Boss' touches had. Big Boss was many things. Exceptionally loyal to his cause, almost otherworldly powerful, and highly respected. Gentle didn't seem to fit anywhere in the equation between heated kisses and wandering hands, the faint hum of insects buzzing loudly in the distance.  
  
But who could blame him? Miller had felt the tension between them when they'd first met in the sweltering Colombian rainforest, brought to his knees by an injury Boss himself had inflicted upon him. A bullet had pierced through just enough of his inner calf, splintering pain searing almost immediately through him, causing Miller to collapse to the ground in startled pain and disorientation. It was clearly meant to incapacitate him. But certainly not to kill. It left him light headed and dizzy, his heart still pounding from the adrenaline rushing heatedly through his veins, the sound of his heartbeat making it hard to hear the footsteps creeping ever so quietly closer.  
  
The blood had finally begun pooling through Kaz's hand as he gripped tightly to the wound through heavily gritted teeth, watching as it trailed warmly down his fingers before marking the dark foliage below. His aviators had become somewhat bent out of shape from an earlier fall, slipping down his sweat-drenched face, the sweat burning his eyes prominently. He's gasping now, trying to catch hold of his breath, the thick humidity choking him from somewhere deep in his chest.  
  
Alone in the dim jungle face-to-face with the one and only Big Boss, his own men either dead or completely absent from the scene. He'd managed to catch onto his breath, kneeling low in the tangled undergrowth as Big Boss stood near, looking completely unphased from the entire ordeal, breath completely even, the forest's dark shadows painting his face with a dark, almost foreboding aura as he approached the injured man. A long, bloodied machete had reached out and tipped his chin slowly upwards, tilting his head to delicately the side as the blade pressed snugly into his jugular. Kaz's own hectic and uncontrolled heartbeat had already begun raging thunder through his ears, pulse beating wildly against the thin metal of the blade, nearly nicking his pale skin with every pulse. He'd swallowed hard, squeezed his eyes shut, let slip a quiet, whimper of a sound amongst the screeching insects and creatures of the forest, bracing himself.  
  
The final blow he'd expected never came.  
  
.....  
  
Incredibly, and what had initially seemed against all odds, he'd taken Kaz in, cleaned him up. Gave him shelter and food. Allowed him full access and freedom around his camp. It seemed strange that he'd insisted on Kaz's cooperation to join his unit. He'd been completely overwhelmed by his forces; what did Boss see in him, anyways? Despite the whole ordeal, Kaz had remained uneasy and suspicious of the whole situation, an endless nagging feeling in his gut.  
  
His attempted escape didn't fare him much better, either. Kaz was quick and nimble through the dark undergrowth, but more years of experience trudging through Tselinoyarsk's dark underbrush silently and efficiently were on Snake's side. He'd slammed into Kaz sharply, blindsiding him completely before locking his arms firmly around Kaz's throat, his own hands grappling at his heavy arms in vain attempt to free himself, the edges of his vision blurring slightly as he managed to choke out a few embarrassing pleas for mercy. If he'd been any more humiliated he may have considered letting Big Boss slit his throat and leave him for the local fauna to pick at his lifeless body instead. He'd simply dragged him back to where he belonged and placed him just so. A pawn.  
  
In the weeks to follow, a tenuous friendship had slowly bloomed between the two. He'd felt important. Needed. Useful. It was unexpected and bizarre, but welcome in its own way. The paranoia and anxiety inside him had managed to settle into a bearable hum that he could push aside most of the time, and liquor had certainly helped the matter. They'd spent a few nights alone together, drinking and debriefing on their latest job runs, Kaz's cheeks glowing deeply from the liquor. Like so many other of his own men, Miller couldn't help but begin to feel a strong pang of admiration towards Big Boss. It had built up over time, a small fire burning low in his gut that he'd tried to ignore before it consumed him whole. Wild and unforgiving.  
  
But there Boss was, easing him down onto all fours and murmuring softly to Kaz in that deep, gravelled voice as he fucked into him steadily after careful and patient preparation, nearby kerosene lanterns illuminating the Boss' rugged features. It was wholly unexpected but somewhat welcome after Boss had managed to smooth talk him into submission, promising to make it good for him. Promising that it would feel good. Kaz had gripped desperately at the sheets the entire time, jaw clenching and breath hitching sharply each time Snake had slammed deep inside him, his pace building and their bodies damp with sweat as they moved together feverishly in the dim lighting.  
  
Snake had cooly insisted that he take the lead rather than Miller that night. And all the nights that had followed thereafter. Those same roughly calloused hands that could swiftly bring a man to his knees and beg for their lives had brought Kaz to completion in a way he'd never felt, arching his back and screaming out as his own blunt fingernails reached back to pull the man even closer to him.

  
  
  
Art by [burnedoutchevrolets](https://burnedoutchevorlets.tumblr.com/post/163898546591/a-long-bloodied-machete-had-reached-out-and), thank you so much!  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for taking your time to read! Support of any kind is really appreciated. I'd also like to give a huge thank you to uzurazura @ tumblr who has been checking over my work and catching any mistakes that slip by. Cheers!


	2. Chapter 2

There's a quiet knock at the med bay door when Venom lets himself in. The few men tending to the remainder of Kaz's milder injuries look up and salute Boss before he dismisses them from the room with a slight nod. Kaz reaches to the side table to grab his aviators, but not before Snake's hand stops him, pushing his fingers aside. Kaz's left eye is still swollen and sore, cuts and scrapes healing up ever so slowly, crude red marks left in their wake. Venom sits on the side of the hospital bed carefully before easing Kaz up into a sitting position, leaning him gently against the wall. 

“Relax,” he pauses, “how are you feeling?”

“Tired,” Kaz admits, avoiding eye contact with Venom and choosing to look down at his fidgeting hand instead, picking nervously at the white sheets, “but I'm ready to get back to work, Boss.”

Their eyes meet. There's a nagging feeling eating away at Kaz inside, slowly burning him up. He's eager to get back to work, determined to see things through this time properly, to build a base and home unlike before for him, for everyone, and especially for his Boss. To be of some eventual use to him, despite his current unfortunate condition. 

There's another long silence as the two sit together, the stillness of the air ringing loud in Kaz's own ears like some kind of siren, screeching inside his brain. He has, despite his heavy ordeals and trials, aged rather gracefully, still managing to hold on to his handsome features from his younger days. There's just the beginnings of ever-so-light grey hairs in his patchy beard and somewhat of a hint of crows-feet around the corners of his now faded blue eyes. He's lost his spark from his younger years, the ever-present glisten in his eyes and heart, but grew a raging fire in its place to compensate.

There's a sudden twinge of sharp pain near the end of his ruined leg around the heavy stitching, causing Kaz to lean forward and grit his teeth in pain, a quiet hiss escaping him. He grips tightly onto himself, trying desperately to stop any further painful spasms. 

“Easy,” Boss says, reaching out to lean Kaz back into the hospital bed, placing his warm hand over Kaz's damp forehead, sticky with a thin layer of sweat. 

“You're running a temperature,” Venom states flatly. 

“It's nothing Snake, I-” 

“There's no use further injuring yourself, especially when you're ill.”

“But, Snake-”

“Kaz, you're to stay here until you've completely healed. Your current state will affect your performance. Ocelot will take over for the time being.”

There's a noticeable swell of disappointment and defeat rising up inside Kaz's chest, making him feel slightly nauseous and dizzy. He grips the side of the bed firmly to momentarily ground himself through it. It's far worse and stings more prominently than the phantom pain of his missing limbs ever could. He has no choice but to obey, nodding slightly in defeated agreement. 

“Alright.”

With that, Venom takes his leave, standing up from beside Kaz and patting him gently on his shoulder, hand lingering a moment too long. The med bay is slowly coated in an unforgiving cloak of silence, the sound of Venom's footsteps tracking down the hall before fading out, leaving Kaz alone with nothing but his thoughts as he stares at the med bay door for what seems like nine years. 

.....

Days before, when Kaz had first arrived, Venom had tended to his various injuries meticulously, insisting himself to oversee many of the procedures. Cleaning foreign debris from his wounds, disinfecting his cuts and scrapes, and expertly suturing up his larger injuries, Kaz wincing softly each time the needle had pierced his flesh before being pulled taught, the local anaesthetic only somewhat numbing the pulsing waves continuous pain. 

Kaz examined himself closely, twisting and turning his arm to inspect the Boss' precise work. Hard, dark black stitching dipping down and rising from his flesh, red and sore from the operation. Another scar to add to his collection.

There's a moment where he catches himself in the far mirror of the room. From what he can still see, his hair and beard are completely dishevelled, a complete opposite from how he used to look in his younger days. He reaches up to touch his face, sighing audibly. He truly still has a long way to go. 

“Need help with that?” Boss inquires, pulling Kaz out from his own thoughts. 

“Well,” there's a momentary pause, “now that you mention it.” It's somewhat embarrassing agreeing to help like this, but what choice does he have? It makes him feel small, childish. How can he even attempt to run Diamond Dogs if he can't even manage look after himself decently? He could probably take care of it on his own, potentially, despite his missing limbs and having to get used to being left handed, but the want and need to be close to Snake now, more than ever, is overwhelming. He gives in.

There's the sound of running water across the room as Boss readies everything, returning to sit by Kaz's side, gently tilting his head upwards and holding him steady with his metal hand, slowly massaging the shaving cream onto his face with the soft brush. It's nerve-wracking, uncomfortable, and welcoming, all at once. They're so close like this, Kaz can almost reach out and touch him. Kaz fidgets. 

“Hold still,” he mentions, bringing the razor up to Kaz's cheek, holding his chin steady in his hand and making a perfectly clean stroke downwards, wiping the excess off on a nearby rag before tilting Kaz's head further to the side, gentle and firm. 

The moment is almost familiar to Kaz, save for the scene itself. The moment when Snake had pinned him down in the hot jungle, machete glinting and pressed snugly against his jugular pressing in even firmer when he'd swallowed hard, blade somewhat pinching his skin, completely at his mercy. He shudders at the thought. 

Only now there's the stark light of the med-bay shining down on him, the humming of electricity from generators rather than the shrill screeching of cicadas, and Snake, who is alarmingly gentle and quiet, peaceful almost, as he works Kaz over, their faces so close momentarily. They continue on in near silence, the Boss' breath slow and even, Kaz's picking up unnoticeable to himself. 

Kaz flicks his eyes up to watch his face, so close like this he can see every small, harsh detail of every scar lining his features, the fine stitching of his eye patch. He follows the scars along his face, the split in his lip, the scratch that had just missed his good eye, the shrapnel rooted firmly in his forehead. It's when one blue eye imperceptibly shifts up to meet Kaz's own hazy ones that he looks away, caught in his daydream, biting his lip and sighing nervously. He looks back to catch him still looking, and his heart begins to race uncomfortably, caught in his chest and throat all at once. He hadn't even noticed Snake had already finished, making one final sweep down Kaz's face. He tucks the blade away. 

Snake eases him down carefully after, palm running over Kaz's forehead and brushing the few stray hairs out of his eyes with his cool metallic hand. He feels noticeably better, a little more confident, even. 

It's a sudden, dizzying moment that overcomes Kaz, a chance he can't let slip by him, not this time. It takes hold of him, possesses him, to grip onto the back of Snake's head, holding onto him firmly and pulling him down for a kiss, his beard scratching roughly against his freshly shaven, sensitive skin. It seems like forever before Venom returns it, planting his hands on either side of Kaz's head, pressing their lips together, opening his mouth with his own and slipping his tongue in. It's difficult to hold back the sounds he's making, quiet whimpers and sharp breaths in between the wet sounds of their mouths as the kisses pick up heatedly, at least, until they stop all-together as Venom pulls away. 

“Snake?” Kaz takes a moment to wonder if he's made a mistake, if he's stepped out of line. It's always been Snake who has initiated physical contact beyond the occasional touch or pat on the back. Snake, who had fucked him until he was raw and aching and still moaning for more, until his skin was sore from kisses and bites and scratches. It's been nine years, can he really blame him for wanting to touch him again, for wanting to kiss him, to feel him one more time?

The answer he receives, rather than words, is Venom wordlessly slinking down his body in one fluid motion. Before he can speak, before he can ask him to stay, to not leave, please don't leave me again, Venom pulls the hospital sheets down his body, exposing Kaz's erection straining painfully against the hospital garb he wears. He can't look all that desirable right now, but he doesn't make any complaints as Venom palms his cock through the thin material, jaw open and chest heaving from that alone. 

“You're eager,” Venom laughs low in his throat, “When's the last time you jacked off?”

“Come on Snake, don't tease me now. Not like this.” 

“Tell me,” he punctuates his response with a firm stroke through the fabric. 

“I can't,” Kaz is almost completely incoherent now, fumbling over his own words in search of something, “I can't remember. It's been so long. Please.”

He's completely relieved that Venom doesn't press him any further and simply complies with his embarrassing pleading. He genuinely can't remember the last time he jacked off and actually finished. Hell, he can't even remember the last time he fucked anyone. Wordlessly, Venom pulls Kaz's cock free, precum already glistening at his uncut tip, his face and chest already blushing red. God, he hasn't seen his dick in so long. It feels like their first time all over again, nervous fidgeting and all. He tries to hide his face in the pillow beside him, turning his head, but Venom is leaning over him, their faces close once more as he continues to palm his aching cock, breath warm on his face, blue eye searing a hole right through his skull with utmost intensity. 

“Did you think about me while I was gone?” he twists his wrist over the tip, pumping Kaz up and down steadily. Slowly. He can feel Snake's hot breath moving downwards now, thick against his neck before he nips there gently, lapping at the small red marks he leaves behind. He marks him, claims him as his own with every touch, every bite. As if he wasn't completely lost and owned by the man already. Loyal to him in a way he'd never felt with anyone else before. 

“Yes, God yes.”

It's all Venom needs to hear before he pulls his hand away from Kaz's cock to spit in his palm, reaching back for Kaz's dick and setting a quicker pace this time as he jerks him off faster now, the room silent except for Kaz's own harsh breathing, the occasional quiet whimper slipping past his lips, and the wet sounds of his cock as Venom's hand moves over him in long, eager strokes. His pale eyes are squeezed shut and god, how long has he waited for this? How many nights has he woken up in a cold sweat, hard and aching and grinding against the sheets desperately looking for a release that never came, his own fingers pressed so deeply inside himself, fucking himself back onto his hand vigorously. 

“Fuck, Snake-”

“Already close?”

“Getting there.” It's shameful how close he feels already, his balls drawing tight up under him, his body stiffening, bracing himself. It's when Venom leans down to take Kaz into his mouth that Kaz can't keep quiet any longer, tossing his head back and gripping the back of Venom's head, fingers tangling in his dark hair as he cries out and arches, hot and wet and needy. And close, fuck, he's not going to last long with Venom bobbing his head like that, warm tongue lapping the underside of his dick while his hand strokes him tightly around his base. 

The sounds Venom makes around his cock, wet and sloppy is what pushes Kaz mercilessly over the edge. 

“Boss, I'm gonna-” but it's too late, he's arching his back and tugging on Venom's ponytail now, nails digging into him as he comes, hot and thick and unrelenting as Venom swallows everything he gives him, silently and without any complaints, his head still bobbing slowly as he takes everything Kaz has to offer. When he pulls off his cock with one final suck, the sight is dizzying. His lips are red and puffy, a string of saliva and come trails between his tongue and his tip. Kaz whimpers. 

The world slowly comes back to Kaz again, he remembers to breathe, fingers untangling from Venom's hair, eyes cracking open to look down his body to see Snake wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He looks back up at Kaz, who looks completely and utterly satisfied, chest still rising and falling quickly as he recovers, blush still noticeable on his pale cheeks. 

“Boss,” he pauses to sigh, spent, “thank you.” 

But before he can even ask for his Boss to stay with him, to hold onto him, to spend just a few more moments with him, just like this where the rest of the world fades away and he can forget about everything fucked up in his life and how they've gotten to this point-

“I'll be back in three weeks, Kaz.”


	3. Chapter 3

They've spent around three weeks on the road, setting up small camps and travelling where the money took them and their men. Their presence is becoming more well known, the name MSF spreading. They're gaining notoriety, seizing any kind of job they can get their hands on. It's going well, and Kaz can't help but feel a swell of pride, warm and lingering in the centre of his chest. This is part of his doing, too. His boss pats him heartily on the back, snapping him out of his daydream, complimenting him on a job well done, commander. Kaz can't help but grin sheepishly in response, he's pretty sure his cheeks are turning red. Completely and horribly embarrassing.

“You first,” Snake gestures. 

“What?” 

“You can take a head start,” Snake nods in the direction of their camp, “unless you think you can keep up, that is.” 

A sudden challenge pressed upon him, Kaz won't let this one slip by. Childish, he thinks, wanting to impress his boss with such menial tasks. It's not as if he doesn't like him already, right? He's commander, there has to be some merit in that, absolutely. Despite it all, Kaz rolls his eyes and sighs through his nose loudly, but accepts the opportunity nonetheless with a nod. It's a chance to show off, at the very least. He's good at that. 

“You sure? I mean, I'm not sure if you'll be able to catch up to me,” Kaz emphasizes, tilting his head to the side slightly and grinning. “But since you're being so generous, why not.” He hears his boss snort in response.

Reaching out, Snake gives him a firm push on his upper back, Kaz stumbling forward slightly at the motion.

“Hey-”

“Get going.”

He raises his eyebrow.

“Go.”

And with that, he shrugs slightly, turns away from his boss, and runs. Breaks off into a sprint, actually. Knows he won't be able to keep the fast pace up for long but wants to give Snake a good run for his money, make him second guess himself, if that's at all possible. He's about a minute into it before he slows down to a steady jog, peering over his shoulder. His boss is nowhere to be seen. Perhaps he hasn't even started yet.. Kaz steadily picks up his pace again, determined to make it back before Snake can, or hopefully it's close, at the very least. Hell, he's still in peak physical condition and younger than his boss, it should be easy, even if he'd had no head start.

It's different, this trail of jungle. Clearer and more open than the first time he'd found himself running desperately away from his now boss. More peaceful, serene looking with sunlight peeking in through the leaves rather than the eerie moonlight, running for his life and choking on every breath he'd taken, sweat soaked and panicked. Ragged roots and plants twist and turn from the earth in patches, Kaz is careful to spot them even behind the darkness of his glasses, treading over them quickly and cautiously. There's flowers, too. Growing where they can find their own place amongst the overbearing ferns and other vegetation, soft reds and yellows peeking through amongst a sea of green.

“Snake?” he turns around to see nothing but empty forest behind him, completely silent except for birds and bugs singing heartily and the sound of his heavy footsteps as the sun begins to set, the few spots of sunshine reaching that manage to reach forest floor fading into a soft orange hue, somewhat managing to illuminate the pathway. He continues on, surely he can't be that far behind him, after all. There's no way he can slow down now, not at this point. Maybe he's second guessing himself, second guessing Snake. 

He's probably around three quarters of the way now, he's getting closer to his goal. Tightness is building steadily in his thighs, burning them deep within the muscle, but he's determined to let it go, to push past it and keep on. Reaching down to rub at his leg momentarily, Kaz can feel his forehead and temples wet with sweat, his clothes already showing in dark places, sticky and wet, clinging to his skin. Despite the setting sun, the punishing heat of the jungle remains at almost all hours of the day and night. There is no welcoming coolness, no soft breeze to ease the heat. It's an unfriendly burden that accompanies them wherever they go, inescapable and cruel.

The sweat dripping into his eyes is getting more difficult to ignore, stinging sharply and clouding his vision in the already low light. It's difficult to tell exactly where he's going now, but senses he can't be too far off. It's going well, that is, until his foot catches sharply on a mangled tree root. He falls unceremoniously toward the ground, hands coming up just quickly enough to stop him from landing flat on his face, pebbles and dirt digging into the soft flesh of his palms, scraped and bleeding slightly.

“God damn,” he groans, turning over to inspect his tender ankle, twisting and turning it. It's tender, but thankfully there's nothing to worry about. He takes a moment to collect himself, dusting himself off in his seated position. It's when he tries to get up that he's back towards the ground without warning, heart rate surging instantaneously. He immediately jumps into panic mode, ready to kick and punch and fight before realizing who has him. Snake.

He pins him forcefully in the soft underbrush, grinning down at Kaz who squirms uncomfortably at the added weight on top of being soaked with sweat, firm body pressing him down into the soft earth and leaves. Suffocating and welcoming all at once.

“You need to be more aware of your surroundings, Kaz.”

They wrestle eagerly for a moment, Snake's hands gripping tightly onto his commanders sides, causing Kaz to involuntarily kick at his boss, laughing and squirming to try to get away ineffectively, face red. Tears are forming in the corners of his eyes, he's too ticklish, his boss knows it. Snake's grinning, obviously pleased with himself. 

He's too exhausted at this point to fight back or attempt to pin his boss under him, but that doesn't mean he won't at least give it his best shot. Pushing at him with all his remaining energy, Kaz tries to budge Snake and escape his grasp but to no avail. Suddenly, his boss takes hold of his wrists, pinning them powerfully above his head, chuckling low in his throat as the commander squirms, tugging and trying desperately to free himself from the confining weight. Snake makes a sound low and almost a growl in the back of his throat. It all goes straight to Kaz's dick. In one final attempt to free himself, Kaz presses his hips up, tries to twist his legs, but it's useless. Snake has him exactly where he wants him. He sighs.

“You win.” 

“Giving up that easily?”

“No, just,” he squirms, legs continuing to push up at his boss, “let me up already. You're too heavy.”

Snake concedes, but not before grinding his own hips down onto Kaz's tender thigh, his hard dick pressing insistently into his commander, earning him a shaky, open-mouthed gasp in response, Kaz's fingers loosening their tight grip almost immediately. 

“You sure you don't want to just stay here?” his boss teases, earning him a playful slap on the arm from his commander as he lifts his weight off him slowly. It's Kaz's turn to fight back, using his thigh as leverage, he pushes against his boss' leg, tipping him over and pressing down with all his weight, holding him against the damp earth. 

“Told you I wasn't giving up,” he smiles, looking down at Snake from over the top of his aviators. 

Snake looks oddly natural among the foliage, like he's meant to be there, sprawled out and hidden among the leaves, among the dirt and shadows. He doesn't fight back, doesn't twist his leg around Kaz's own or grip his arm. Doesn't make any sudden movements, simply regards Kaz with his cool blue eye. Kaz shudders, suddenly wholly aware of his surroundings and lost all at once. Dizzy. Snake simply raises his hand, unwaveringly, curling it snugly into the back of Kaz's head, fiercely crushing their mouths together. It's rough, wild, and he tastes strongly of the cigars he smokes. Unfamiliar and warm, the same feeling emanating from Kaz's belly as he let's himself be devoured so willingly. Trembling hands find their way to the ground beside Snake's head as he presses back just as eagerly, nervous and confident all at once. 

Overhead the sound of rain can be heard, thunder rumbling softly off in the distance. A warning of what's to come. It begins as a mild and persistent tapping on the canopy leaves, eventually slipping between the narrow spaces, dripping on both men. They hardly notice.


	4. Chapter 4

Rain falls mercilessly on Motherbase around midnight, pounding down on the pavement as lightning crackles and illuminates the turbulent seawater below. There's a tightrope of tension running through Kaz's gut, anxious for Snake's' return. Not so anxious, however, for their new guest that's accompanying Venom's return. One of them? Absolutely not. It makes Kaz's teeth clench, his fingers grip tightly onto the pen he taps loudly against the desk, attempting to go over some paperwork, thoughts continually distracting him from making any reasonable progress. 

He knows what he's doing, knows he's right in absolutely every sense of the word, and wholly knows this isn't going to turn out well. It's not an if, it's a when with this girl, he can feel it. After everything that's happened, everything they'd worked so hard for, only to watch it go up in flames, sink down wordlessly into the sea. Being too careful is necessary, it's what's going to keep them alive. It's what keeps Mother Base running the way it should. 

He trusts Snake, trusts him with every fibre of his own ruined being, but falters on his own understanding of the man sometimes. He briefly recalls the torturous and overpowering heat of jungle, of being spared similarly at the mercy of his gun and blade. But this is completely different, is it not? He was hardly a threat to Snake and his own men back then, but this woman is dangerous. It's too risky bringing her back to their exact location. It's too risky having let her lived at all. 

To make matters worse, the weight of his missing limbs feels exhaustingly heavy tonight, if only he could have been there himself, a solid figure rather than a fleeting voice to help Snake along. What use is he, anyways? Why does Snake even keep him around at this point if he's got Ocelot who can obviously easily take over, just as he'd done before? The thought that Venom might actually feel pity towards him fills his insides with a mix of heavy anxiety and frustration. 

He shakes his head slowly, defeatedly, attempting to clear his mind from carrying on with more unsettling thoughts. Before he's consumed.He's too worked up, too trapped within his own mind for his own good. He takes a moment to remove his aviators, pinching the bridge of his nose gingerly. These's the hint of a headache swelling behind his blurry faded eyes. At least the rain has somewhat settled, if anything. He's still deep in thought that he nearly jumps when Venom radios in, alerting Kaz of his estimated time of arrival back to base. He's approximately thirty minutes out. He grabs his cane and stumbles out of his office, making his way to the platform begrudgingly. 

.....

His stomach churns uncomfortably when he sees her for the first time, scantily clad, leaning out of the helicopter and peering down at Miller and the other men gathering on the landing platform. Odd attire for a deadly sniper, he thinks. Ocelots shown up, too, of course. Their disagreement settling heavily between them both like an electrified high-tension wire. Professionalism aside, he's sure the disgust shows clearly on his face. It's next to impossible to not let the next words slip.

“There's no way she's setting foot on this base,” he stands firm in his choice, yelling up towards Venom, tapping his cane for added measure, “she's with Cipher.” 

In a flash, she descends wordlessly to the base, slipping into a haze of dark smoke, men immediately training their guns on her previous position as she lands with a loud crack, echoing wildly across the platform. It's almost instantaneous that she reappears behind them, reforming in a similar cloud, blood, muscles, tissue, and skin appearing to regenerate before their eyes. Hardly human.

“Fire,” Kaz calls out, the men immediately lifting their guns towards her, only to be suddenly and unfortunately reprimanded by Ocelot.

“Miller,” Ocelot says hastily, reaching out to tip the solider's gun beside him downwards towards the ground, all but glaring towards Kaz, “she saved the Boss.”

He grits his teeth inside his skull he swears he can hear them creaking, the line of his jaw hard and firm. He will be the one to have the final word on this. Ocelot's pushed his word so far, he's going to be the one who-

“Put her in the cell,” Boss calls out. The soldiers around him obey immediately, lowering their weapons at once. “Ocelot, keep an eye on her.” 

Kaz glances over, Ocelot looks all too pleased with himself, nodding in thorough agreement. They lead her carefully away, keeping an eye on her every step as she walks down the platform and out of sight, Ocelot following closely behind. 

“Boss,” Kaz steps up, “you're going to regret this.” 

Their eyes meet. God, he really hopes he knows what he's doing. Hopes that there's a good enough reason deep down somewhere that he's choosing to keep this absolutely dangerous threat of a creature around. Venom will kill her, not now, but eventually. Kaz knows he'll stay true to his word, but wonders when that time will come. Keep it inside that he hopes it's not horribly far off. 

Venom must still sense Kaz's deep unrest, reaching out and patting him behind his tired shoulders firmly. It's less than reassuring. Infantilizing, even. Kaz wants to lean away from it, out of immature bitterness, but recedes into it instead.

“I know what you're thinking Kaz,” his voice is low, “but trust me.”

“Boss,” Kaz's own voice is marginally shaky in comparison. There's a still moment of silence between the two, the rain settling down to the faintest patter, slick and cold along the pavement. The base is silent except for the ever present sound of waves crashing against the pillars below them. Cold and restless. He doesn't have to hold onto the bitterness of the situation, doesn't focus on it, but it's still there, coiling up inside him, trying to settle it down. It's hard not to let it show, even behind the darkness of his aviators that he wears, raindrops clinging onto the frames. 

“It's getting late,” Boss gestures to the time on his iDroid. He's right. “You know, you don't have to wait up for me to get back every time, Kaz,” he mentions, the barest hint of a smile on his lips. 

Kaz huffs under his breath, albeit a bit too loudly. Somewhere deep down it feels childish, somewhere deep down he can't seem to find the will to care, not when their safety has been so clearly jeopardized. He can't let the weight of it go so soon. It's just the man who he's become after all these years. He turns back to Venom only to catch the man still staring at him, expecting some sort of response. Kaz gives. Just a little.

“I know, it's just...” his gaze slips down and away from Snake. 

From a bloodied man on his knees, waiting for his life to come to an agonizing end, to comrade and loyal companion, to gripping sheets and moving roughly in the darkness, tangled together breathlessly. It's been nine years, his charm and old over-confident self long lost to the completely new person he presents himself as now. Surely Snake has seen the changes, both physically and mentally he's made, not by choice, but out of necessity to survive. It's clear Venom isn't looking at the same Kaz he once knew and cared about, but almost everything about Snake still feels the same, unchanging and standing firm, as always. Kaz shuffles on uneasily his one good foot, trying to figure out just how to continue on without pushing his luck.

“I like to know you're home same, Boss.” Christ, he really is too old to feel his cheeks get hot. It may have been somewhat acceptable back in his youth, when he was cocky and free-spirited and bright-eyed, but it seems so out of place now. He's immediately thankful for the safe cover of darkness, his glasses, his coat and everything else that keeps him tucked away from clear view. Untouchable, out of reach. Safe. 

“You need some rest, you'll run yourself ragged. You push yourself too hard sometimes, Kaz.”

He laughs bitterly in response. 

“It's my job. If I don't, who will?”

Venom simply nods in response, reaching for his cigar inside one of his pockets. The small blue flame of his iDroid lighting up his rugged features as he lights it,, casting shadows against his deep scars, the few tiny dark red flecks of blood from his previous mission still clinging onto his face. Kaz watches intently as he inhales deeply, blowing smoke to the side before holding it out for his commander, an offering. Kaz gingerly accepts, holding the cigar firmly between his fingers and taking a long, thick drag. It's nothing like the cigarettes he used to smoke with Snake in Costa Rica, spicy and warm after a successful good job run or a hasty fuck, but welcome nonetheless. It goes in smoothly, warms him inside. Eases his tension all over. 

“You're a good man, Kaz.” 

“Hm?” he exhales, grey smoke curling in swirls between them. So close he can feel the other man's warmth despite the cool breeze rolling in off the ocean. 

“And I need you to trust me. I'm well aware of what's happened in the past, of everything we lost. Our men, our home. But we're all working to make things better, a brighter future, and I need you to be on my side, of the choices I make.”

And for a moment he feels momentarily scolded, like he's a child. Slightly reprimanded for who he is, the core of his identity. He does trust his Boss, more than anything. More than anyone he's known before.

“I'm serious,” the look on his face tells Kaz everything he needs to know. There's nothing mocking in his tone, no wavering, and no belittlement. “I can't think of anyone more qualified to run Mother Base than you. That's why I chose you. That's why you're here.” It's absolutely more compliments than he feels deserving of, the momentary sting from his Boss' comments earlier fading out.

“Boss...” he stumbles over his words, searching for anything to say that doesn't make him seem desperate or awkward, but a “thank you,” is all he can seem to manage, passing the cigar back to Venom. They stand together in the quiet darkness of the base, Venom finishing up before making a suggestion.

“Come, I'll walk with you back to your quarters.” 

Kaz wants to deny his Boss' proposal, wants to say he's completely capable of getting back on his own, that hell, he's a grown man who can look after himself, but the words die out when they reach the back of his throat. He's been without the company of Snake for quite some time, it can't hurt to spend just a few more minutes with him at his side. So he lets his walls fall down, just a little. Just enough.

Prosthetic digging into the remainder of his leg, Kaz is more than aware of his worsening limp on their walk back. It's not unnoticed by Venom, who wordlessly takes the cane he holds and eases his arm up under Kaz, steading him as they walk. And there it is again, the urge to say something, to complain and speak up. But Venom says nothing, makes no indication that it's a problem, only continues on, holding his commander close and leading him home.

He climbs into his bunk, thoroughly exhausted and falls into an uncomfortable, heavy sleep. He dreams of a Mother Base surrounded by an endless inferno of flame and billowing black smoke as far as the eye can see. He's hardly able to breathe, lungs filling steadily with thick and relentless smoke, eyes stinging. He runs towards the helicopter for safety, calling out to his Boss' back, turned away from him. Before he can make it to the security of the helicopter, the ground beneath him crumbles, the sound of beams groaning and creaking, and he falls endlessly into a scorching sea of fire.


End file.
